The ‘Kelly’ Culture
With the recent “allegations” against our community’s beloved Robert Kelly — if you call twenty plus years, recent — there has been yet another divide in our views on whether these are facts or another opportunity to tear down the black man. While there are of course instances of false allegations, I find myself wondering why we, as a people, are even being pushed and pulled between the two directions; is he innocent or is he guilty?
With so many means of evidence pointing to the latter, it’s hard and rather frustrating trying to understand how one would even need to debate. Being a realist, I listen closely to the opposing arguments, knowing that every claim isn’t fact. Being a woman, though, I call bullshit. However; this isn’t about Robert. This is about us and the many other Robert’s in our back yards. So let’s talk.
I took note of some of the individuals that were pro-predator and thought to look deeper into their reasons on why they felt that even after R. Kelly had been on trial, told on himself in some instances, and even had video footage, he was innocent. Then I found myself getting hit with some harsh reality. The far fetched theory for today is that possibly R.Kelly, and any of the many other manipulative monsters’, demons are hard pills for us to swallow because they mirror our norm.
Being from an urban community, the biggest argument that I heard or saw in the defense was “girls in the hood mess with older men everyday,” and it pained me to see that these people still couldn’t see that it was STILL the manipulation of the older men that had them in those situations. Manipulation and the notion that there was nothing wrong with it. And that’s because they could have seen it as normal themselves.
It’s no secret that in the black community we have unfortunately swept so many things under the rug that when we see some of them shone in their true light, we can’t handle it. It’s not our fault. It’s the way some of us were conditioned. Some of us have seen our brothers, uncles, or even parents and grandparents practice some of the things that we are NOW realizing are not okay.
As with everything, the actions being understood don’t make them excusable. Yes, it can be understandable that one may have been ignorant to the facts, but the important thing is growth and knowledge. Let’s break all of these cycles!
Today, I challenge us to switch the norm and stop turning a blind eye. For the sake of the young women in our immediate families and circles who may be afraid to speak out simply because they don’t feel like they’ll be heard. Like they won’t be believed or like they and their accusations would be dismissed. We, as a whole, have failed victims on many occasions. I get it. It’s hard to stand for something when we’ve possibly knowingly or unknowingly participated in the acts we’re now deeming wrong. Whether we were the friend to a manipulator, a spectator or the manipulator ourselves. But growth is important. It’s okay to change our perception when receiving new knowledge. When you know better, you do better. Do better. Ignorance is not bliss.
With Love,
Parker Washington
